Cheese
by ChickletsOfInsightfulInsanity
Summary: Edward had always loved cheese. But he never really knew much about it. Cue Roy, passionate cheese hater... my first drabbleness. Not all EdRoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Hello pips. I'm moving! I like moving, don't get me wrong, but I have one hell of a lot of heavy-ass furniture that I have to somehow get downstairs without the help of a very lazyass stepdad. But whatever. I'm moving. This is yet another fic... in case you have an IQ of .0000000001 and didn't know. I was just bored... this should prove the extent of the mass of grey matter that is my brain.**

**Disclaimer: I could say that I have my sanity, but that would be a lie. I do not own FMA... get that through your thick skulls! But I do have lots of FMA doujins... yay me! Mine!**

**-Cheese-**

Edward Elric had always liked cheese. As long as he could remember, he had loved cheese. His mother used to have to pull him away from the pantry so he couldn't eat it all. And still he used alchemy to get it, hence moaning and groaning because of a huge stomachache. As he got older, his extreme fetish for the product never left. He would spend huge amounts of money at a time on indecent amounts of cheese. He would pile it so high in his arms that no one could see him over the top of the packages... literally. But, unfortunately for him, his lover hated cheese. Yes, Roy Mustang hated cheese with a passion. He thought it was vile. When he invited Edward to live with him in his house in Central, he conveniently forgot the younger man's love of the stuff. And when he remembered, he thought it was a fair exchange. But when he came home that day to see the refrigerator literally _overflowing_ with cheese, he reconsidered that. But he didn't want his young lover to leave, no, so he did the only thing that he could think of to get rid of the cheese. He came upon Edward at the dining room table, as usual, stuffing his face with cheese. "Edward," he said lightly, gaining a grunt in acknowledgment. "Do you know what the main ingredient in cheese is?" Another grunt, accompanied by an inquisitive stare. "Milk." Edward blanched paper white, and took off full speed for the bathroon, where retching could be heard, along with a sickening splash. Roy allowed a satisfied smirk to vome across his face; cheese was out of his life for good.

Edward Elric had always hated cheese.

**Me: What do you think? Review please? -puppy eyes- No flames, that for Roy only.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Hello pips. I've decided, thanks to my wonderful reviewers, to turn Cheese into a drabble series. Hope you all like the series as much as the original... guess what? I can play Star Wars on the keyboard! Yay me! Anyway... Maes, would you like to do the disclaimer?**

_**Random person walks in and whispers something in my ear...**_

**Me: NO! Hughes is not dead! That was all staged, I tell you! Maes...**

_**Silence...**_

**Me: Maes? Maes! MAES! NOOO! You can't be dead!**

**Disclaimer: Anyway... she doesn't even own her sanity, how can you think she would own FMA, you asshat?**

**Tartar Sauce**

Sig liked tartar sauce since childhood. He would get tons of packets at school and eat them all plain. And he never got sick of it. Sure, he got sick, but he never stopped eating it. Equivalent Exchange, as his wife would say.

Izumi despised the stuff. It looked like white, bumpy slime. And she alone knew what it was made of. So one day after sparring with Ed and Al, she came into the kitchen to find Sig neglecting the store and stuffing his face, literally, with tartar sauce. There was no way this was equivalent exchange. This was simply torture. Thus the formation of her evil plan. As Sig stuck another spoon of the substance into his mouth, she cleared her throat to get his attention. He jerked his head slightly in her direction, but otherwise showed no sign of acknowledgement. "Sig, honey," she said sweetly. "You do realize the ingredients of the... stuff you're consuming right now? It's made of mayonnaise and fish brains." Her plan was rewarded as her beloved husband turned ashen gray and dashed for the bathroom. The subsequent spattering on the bathroom floor was music to her ears. "You know you're cleaning that up, right?"

**Me: Gotta go. Review please.**


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